The Circle of Life

Well, we have recently had good and bad news!

The good news is that Joel and I are expecting our first child in September! We found out in January and got to see a little baby heart beat. Of course, I teared up at the doctor's office. I was just so overwhelmed, I couldn't help it! At first I didn't believe it, but now everything is starting to feel real as I go through morning sickness and growing a very small pooch! I constantly think about this miracle growing inside me and again, I start to get choked up! Ah, guess I can blame it all on the pregnancy hormones.


It took us 9 months to get pregnant. I know in the grand scheme of things it's not long at all, but every one of those unsuccessful months, I would blame myself. I felt like my body's purpose in life was to bear children and I felt like I had failed...failed at being a woman. I know for many couples it takes much longer and some never experience the joy of having their own child. So, I feel blessed beyond belief and hope that I can be the best mother for our child! It's amazing (and scary) to think about bringing a brand new life into the world!

With that being said, I must tell the bad news. Joel's aunt passed away recently. She was only in her 50s and it was very unexpected. We found out the news on a Saturday morning. We were actually getting ready to go see Joel's parents to tell them our good news! Well, needless to say when we found out, we didn't tell Joel's family our news. Instead a few days later we went to the visitation and funeral service. It was an unsettling feeling being at the funeral. Here I was carrying new life, yet another life had ended. I was upset thinking about this. How unfair! Can't we all live long, healthy lives until we are 100? But, in life there are no guarantees and we must cherish the time God gives us on earth until he calls us Home.

In the midst of the good and bad of life, I hope to live it all...experience it all! I know God has a plan for each one of us and for our growing baby. We are all on a journey and don't know when it will begin or end...the circle of life!